


Life After Life

by Jaegerbombastik



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, First Published Work, Heavy Angst, Prompt Fic, extreme sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-04
Updated: 2014-03-04
Packaged: 2018-01-14 12:19:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1266292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaegerbombastik/pseuds/Jaegerbombastik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I decided to make this after seeing a post on Tumblr..</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life After Life

**Author's Note:**

> You may need Google Translate open for some French words.

Sometime after the failed birth, Levi returned to his quarters and just sat at his desk, staring down at some papers that had been left unattended to for about 2 weeks. One hand went up to his forehead, covering it. He thought to himself then, about his time spent with his lover, because wife was too far-fetched for a time when Titans roamed the planet. He shouldn't have even attempted to have a child.. Especially not with Hanji. She was carefree. He smiled to himself briefly and remembered when they had first spoken of forming a relationship.

After the death of his squad, Hanji noticed a change in Levi. Not many people can notice these changes, because they're so slim. So minuscule. But his natural glow was dimmer, he looked slightly older, and his 'natural expression' became more 'natural'. She, then, decided to pursue him for a bit. Study his habits, until they became imprinted on her memory. Eventually she memorized his habits like the back of her hand, and began to show up at his mealtimes, eating with him and Erwin, slowly getting closer to him each time, until she was eating beside him. Soon enough, all activities were done together. They had an unbreakable bond, and they began to feel interest in the other's lives. As their hearts grew closer, so did their bodies, their hands, and their souls. They were considered companions for 5 years, before Hanji asked if they could try for a child. Levi reluctantly complied. They would be having a girl. They knew this thanks to Mike, who was actually right.

But, then, the accident happened, forcing Hanji into an extremely early labor. The ravenette knew that the birth was going to result in miscarriage, but he truly didn't want to hear it. He wanted to block out the world, but he couldn't. Not with Hanji in the other room, he was told about how much blood was lost and the condition of his beloved, but he entered anyway. He didn't give one single fuck as long as he got to see her. But once he got in there, he couldn't speak. As she sobbed and asked to see the baby, calling out the name "Rivaille.. Rivaille, hey, can I see her?" He just held her hand. There was nothing he could do as his own heart began to crumble. He hadn't cried since he was a small child, but he cried now. It was as good a time as any. Eventually the crying subsided and Hanji began to drift off. Rivaille slowly let his hand drift away and walked back to his quarters.. Where he was now, thinking.

6 hours later: The door opened and the head of a small blonde haired cadet. A lowly soldier, poked in. Armin Arlert. Why was he here? "Corporal?" He spoke softly, almost as if Levi was china glass. Bound to break. 

"Hm?" The ravenette looked to Armin, not quite himself. 

The blonde cleared his throat, before attempted some crushing words. "9:04 p.m. October 16, 875.. Hanji Zoe's heart stopped. She's gone. I'm very sorry, Corporal. I know how much she meant to you.." Levi's entire body went rigid. Erwin told me that she wouldn't die. The blood was stopped. So why the hell is she dead?! This better be a fucking joke. But if it is.. The young boy spoke one last time. "Would you like to see her?" 

The frenchman looked down at his desk and ceased the tapping of his pen. "What good is it to speak to just flesh. She's gone. I have no use for the body, now." It took years to knock down the walls that were rebuilt in utter seconds. "Just send it to the incinerator. Leave the glasses there, though.. They'll make fine vases for the sick." Armin nodded, and just as he entered, he left. Levi breathed out slowly and covered his face with his hands. First the baby.. now you? You were the only thing keeping me stable, God damn every thing! Every bug, creature, and speck of dirt, that gets to be near you until you decay.. Fuck this world and it's mortality. I shouldn't of gotten close. But.. I wouldn't trade it for the world. 

The funeral was closed casket, but Levi stayed in the back, refusing to speak. Some even blamed him for her death. The funeral was so emotionally tolling on him that he even thought of suicide, then he looked at himself in the mirror. "Rivaille. You are not Eren Jaeger. Those tactics are for him. Not you." After that talk with himself he didn't think of Hanji.. until 2 years later. 

Levi was 42, now and he told himself to visit the grave. He did so. He sat in front of it for 20 minutes, just moving his hands along the engraved name, the dates, the embroidery. Everything. Finally, he spoke. "Hey, old friend.. It's been two years." He managed to choke out. "I knew that it was a mistake. We were just not meant to be parents.. I guess." Another sigh. "This is harder than I expected it to be. I wrote stuff out, but then I threw it away.." He laid one hand on the tombstone again. Caressing it as if it was her face. "Je'taime, Hanji.. I know I didn't say it often. I didn't say it enough, but.. I do. So very much." With that. He broke down and sat there, sobbing, until Erwin showed up. 

"Levi..? What's wrong?" The blonde was much stronger and formidable looking than those 7 years ago. 

"I can't do this, anymore, Erwin. I've tried to 'stay strong for humanity's sake' for 2 years.. it just isn't working.. I'm slipping." 

Erwin nodded. "I've noticed. But I have something to tell you. She doesn't blame you. But I also know that she wants what is best for you. Do you want to know why?" Erwin bent closer to Levi's level, putting a hand on his stiff shoulder. 

"Why, Erwin.. Why?" He couldn't bring himself to look up. 

"She said some words. In a language I'm sure you're familiar with. She said this: S'il vous plaît garder Rivaille vie. I'm sure that means something to you, right?" 

The moment those words left Erwin's lips, Levi collapsed over the tombstone, barely choking out a chant of two words. "They do. They do. They do."

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you didn't think my first published work was too bad.


End file.
